It's that time again. New Log; same lack of progress. I'll elaborate further on my feelings and what I percieve are my roadblocks at the bottom beneath the log
1.Primary
a. Writing: Not a word. I have written a bunch of ideas and some plot outlines for various stories I want to write in an old note book. I think some of them have promise for stories, but when I try to muster up the focus to putting pen to paper, it just fades away like fog in the midday sun.
b. Career: Dusted off my old LinkedIn profile and made some updates to me resume. Not going to be showing either of those hear since they contain sensitive private info about my I'd rather keep private from NG. I did have a meeting with my superior at work on Friday, and she sent my some internal job listings at my company. I want to apply to at least one of them. I want to get a new job soon. I'd don't feeling like getting verbally abused over the phone by random strangers all day for the rest of my life.
c. Health & Exercise: Here I have fared better. At least once a day for at least a week (give or take a few days, I've lost track) I do 50 bicep curls with some dumbells. I've also started doing 30 curls where I swing my arm across my body. I'm under no illusion doing that little is going to instantly get my in shape or ripped, but it gets the blood moving a little bit. I've also made a conscious effort to stop eating after 8pm and I'm proud to say I've kept that up for around a week, give or take a few days.
d. Animation: Didn't do a darn thing. I want to but starting from no skills and starting the process to learn is very daunting to me.
2.Secondary
a. Building: I've finished building that set of the Philadelphia Flyers' mascot. I greatly disliked that thing for years before I got that set. Going through that process of building it was very fun. I'm a little proud I completed it, and I'll admit that mascot has grown on me because I completed that set.
b. Reading. Read through more of Lord Of The Rings. (Spoilers) I read from just after The Battle of Helm's Deep to where Frodo and Sam are trekking through Emyn Muil. The Ents ripping apart Isengard, Gandalf's verbal sparring match with Saruman, and Pippin looking into the palantír are highlights for me. Pippin's experience with the palantír is so harrowing, you feel like saw what he saw through his own eyes. (End of Spoilers) Still haven't read beyond the first chapter of the other book I've meant to read.
c. Programming: Nothing.
d. Music: No learning music or playing it. I did get some records last week, and I listened to two while reading last week. Workingman's Dead and Terrapin Station by The Greatful Dead. I thought it fitting to listen to them, because I was formally introduced to the Dead and Lord Of The Rings at the same time. Listening to those albulms while reading took my back a decade in time. It was very nice.
3.Tertiary
a. Videogames: Didn't play a sing second
b. YouTube Watch Later: Didn't make any sort of effort to dent that playlist
c. TV: Only really watched sports and no shows I've been meaning to watch
d. Language: No effort to learn any other than English, and even then I don't speak it that great.
4.Miscellanous
TBD when I've gotten some sort of whim or fancy that pops into my head.
In my head I know I want to do all these things, but when it comes time to doing those things, my heart just isn't into it. I just veg out wathcing random YouTube videos. I'm wasting my time on useless stuff, but I don't know how to do the stuff I want to or how to even learn how to do what I want. I stay stuck in the mud because its familiar and takes no effort. I have issues withconcentration and intrinsic motivation. I try to sit down to do something, but my mind jumps to something else and then I do then and then it jumps to the next thing, and suddenly I've wasted a day doing nothing. And that day wasn't even wasted on soemthing really fun or interesting; just wasted it staying in the same rut. I'm also worried about failing trying to accomplish these new things, too. Lack of concentration, clinging to familiar low effort activites, and cowardice about failure are holding my back in this stagnant pattern I want to break but just don't know how. I feel like there's a bottle that is bubbling with all my hopes and dreams inside. But I don't know how to uncork it, so I just sit there twiddling my thumbs and hoping in vain I'll uncork that bottle some day. Anybody have any tips on how they keep themselves motivated and help them concentrate on projects? Like an exercise or some sort of technique? Or listening to some type of music? I'm open to advice because I need all the help I can get.