Really cool imagery! This was a really vibrant piece, the character writing and the descriptions gave me an in-depth picture of what was going on and this kept me wanting to read paragraph after paragraph. I think you could have spent a bit more time after the climactic battle explaining the aftermath, or at least could have allotted more time to the dialogue between Roberts and Shipley afterward, but I think where you ended it was great given the length you decided to go with! Good work! Thank you for participating :)
Tuff Nuts Don't Crack.
Age 26
Habitual Linestepper
Penn State
Osgiliath
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Comments
Thanks for the feedback. First time I've ever gotten feedback on my writing like this and it's nice to know someone likes it.
Tangerine
The writers jam has been popping off lately